


What Happens in Kentucky...Doesn't Quite Stay in Kentucky

by DestielWS



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accidental wetting, Bathtubs, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Canon Universe, Coming Out, Dean Comes Out, Deep Conversations, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hot Tub, Hot Tub Sex, Hotels, Human Castiel, Love Confessions, M/M, Non-Penetrative Sex, Plot With Porn, Totally Heterosexual Bro Moments, Wetting, these tags are a mess but so am i so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 20:45:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10952403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielWS/pseuds/DestielWS
Summary: Based on a tumblr request: Cas recently lost his grace and finds himself tossed into the deep end of human life. Sam wants a weekend to himself [and Eileen, of course] and sends Dean and Cas away on a routine ghost hunt. From secrets shared to new sensations experienced, a lot can happen over the course of a few days.Request: Can you do a Dean/Cas fic were Cas has just become human and he doesn't really have the best holding skills? Maybe him and Dean are on a long road trip and he doesn't want to ask Dean to stop.





	What Happens in Kentucky...Doesn't Quite Stay in Kentucky

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone waiting on All or Nothing, this fic is what I spent this whole month working on. Fucking 13k words of fluff and discourse basically with a tiny smidge of porn.

“So, I don’t get it,” Cas stated. “Remind me again why we’re not taking Sam with us?”

“Come on, Cas,” Dean groaned, looking over at his friend in the passenger seat. “Sam’s got a crush on this hunter we met a while back and she’s in town for a hunt so I figured we could give them a little space.”

“Crush?” Cas asked. “What does that mean? And space for what? Who is it even?”

“Well, her name is Eileen. She’s very sweet. She’s also deaf, and Sam won’t admit it, but he’s totally got it out for her,” Dean said. “And if you have a crush on someone, you just really, really like them. Like, you like them more than a friend, but you’re not quite in love yet.”

“But if Sam won’t tell you, how do you know that he’s _got a crush_ on her?” Cas asked.

“Well–”Dean flashed his turn signal and started shifting onto the freeway. “–he gets really excited when he talks about her, and he tries to play it cool, like they’re just friends, but every time he’s around her, he keeps like touching her arm or immediately going to defend her if we’re in danger. It’s the little things.”

“So when someone has a crush on someone, they get happy around them and like to randomly touch them?” Cas asked.

“Among another things,” Dean answered, pulling into the middle lane and sitting back.

“So does that mean I have a crush on you?” Cas replied.

“What?” Dean scoffed, looking over at him in amusement.

“Well, you make me happy. And you say I constantly invade your personal space, whether I intend to or not,” Cas said.

Dean laughed and shook his head. “No, we’re just friends. Maybe now that you’re not a–”Dean cut himself off and looked away awkwardly.

“I’m not an angel,” Cas finished. “You don’t have to avoid it. It’s not like it’s a secret, Dean.”

“I know,” Dean sighed. “I just don’t want to mention it. It just happened. You’re upset about it, still.”

“That doesn’t mean we pretend like it didn’t happen,” Cas said. “So continue your thought.”

Dean slowed down a little and took a swig of soda from his McDonald’s cup. “I was going to say that you probably never had a crush on anyone before, but now that you’re not wired like that anymore, you’ll get to experience a crush soon.”

“I just don’t understand why I’d get one,” Cas said. “What causes them?”

“Attraction,” Dean replied. “Just liking someone, but for some reason you like them kinda differently. More.”

“I felt attraction as an angel,” Cas stated.

“You did?” Cas asked.

“I mean not necessarily sexual attraction,” Cas continued. “But granted, I had bigger things on my mind.”

“You still do,” Dean said. “But we all have things on our mind, but sometimes having something to hope for is nice.”

“So having a crush is hope?” Cas asked.

Dean sighed and looked around the road. “Maybe for some people, but I guess in it’s simplest form is just, you’re with someone and you just–you want them. In all the ways you could want someone.”

“I suppose I understand what you mean,” Cas mused. “Is it–is it like that feeling I got when I ate all those burgers?”

Dean laughed and smiled over at him. “A bit like that, but you want to fuck them, not eat them.”

“The burgers?” Cas scoffed.

“Not the burgers,” Dean groaned. “When you have a crush on someone, it’s like that craving, but you want to stick your dick in them–or they can stick it in you, I don’t know what your preferences are. You don’t want to eat them.”

“What preferences?” Cas asked. “Does this somehow relate to your crude phallic terms?”

“Do you seriously have no clue what preferences are?” Dean replied. “Like sexualities?”

“I understand the concept of sexuality if that’s what you mean,” Cas said.

“No, I mean, like gay or straight or bisexual?”

“Those terms have something to do with human genders do they not?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, completely,” Dean stated. “So most women like men and most men like women. That’s straight. And when a man or a woman likes both, then he or she is bisexual. And when a man likes only men and a woman likes only women, they’re gay.”

“Oh, these quaint little terms you coined to put people in boxes,” Cas muttered. “Why can’t you just let people have sex with who they want to?”

“Hey, if it were my say, we’d all be equal,” Dean said. “But your good old dad is the one who wrote it into the Bible.”

“As someone who knows every verse of every story in the Bible, I can confirm no verse ever said anything about who was allowed to have relations with whom,” Cas replied.

“Really?” Dean asked.

Cas nodded.

“So, everything people use as hate speech against the community is a lie?” Dean continued.

“All the Bible encourages is reproduction at a time when the human population needed to grow and expand. But the Bible was a loose set of rules established many many years ago and is no way applicable today,” Cas replied. “So these preferences you mention, which one am I?”

“I don’t know,” Dean answered. “That’s not for me to decide.”

“How do I know? Does it even matter? Do I have to have one?” Cas asked.

“I mean everyone identifies somehow,” Dean replied.

“Aren’t there people that don’t care for sexual activities at all though?”

“Yes, they’re called asexuals. They experience no attraction towards any gender,” Dean stated.

“This is complicated,” Cas said. “Heaven has no concept of gender. Everyone is equal among us in our ranks.”

“Hey, don’t start missing that place now,” Dean replied. “They treated you like shit up there. I’ll take you no matter what shape you’re in.”

“That means a lot, Dean,” Cas sighed. “So, if you had to sort me into one of these labels, these preferences, which would I be? According to you?”

“I mean I’ve only seen you with chicks, so that’d make you straight I think, but I don’t know what goes through your head. Maybe you like both. Maybe you like neither,” Dean said. “You are a guy, aren’t you?”

“I suppose, now, yes,” Cas answered. “I’m bound into a male body, but until a few days ago I had no gender. I identified as a wavelength of light, but considering that my vessel presented as male, that’s what I was referred to as.”

“Huh,” Dean hummed, taking a sip of the soda and then offering it up to Cas. “Want some? Soda.”

Cas tentatively took the cup from his hands and held it. “So, what’s your sexual preference, Dean?”

“You don’t just ask someone that, Cas,” Dean snapped.

Cas looked away from him and awkwardly sipped from the straw. “Sorry. I thought we could talk about anything together.”

“We can, of course we can,” Dean replied. “It’s just not a subject you talk about with people.”

“Why not?” Cas asked. “There’s nothing wrong with it. Is there?”

“Well, if you’re queer—so lesbian, gay, bi, transgender, asexual, anything like that—you’re usually made fun of and hated and it’s not something you bring up out of the random like that,” Dean explained.

“So, you’re one of those?”

“No!” Dean exclaimed. “Why would you think that?”

“Well, from your description, the only thing someone would have to be ashamed or or be afraid of answering would be if they were one of those things. So if you were straight, you wouldn’t care if I asked, right?” Cas replied.

“That’s–”Dean avoided looking at Cas even though he could see him looking towards him out of the corner of his eye. “–that’s not how it works.”

“I don’t care,” Cas said, reaching out and touching Dean’s arm. Dean looked over at his hand. “I already told you that heaven has no concept of these things, we have no bias positive or negative about these things. I wouldn’t judge you if you liked men, too,”

“I don’t–”Dean started, cutting himself once he realized how loud he was being. “I don’t like… men.”

“Did I upset you?” Cas asked, concern furrowing his brow. “I apologize if I did.”

“No, no.” Dean shook his head and reached for the soda.

“It’s gone,” Cas stated.

“Gone?” Dean groaned. “I just got that thing. That was a large!”

“It was delicious. I’ve never had anything like it before.” Cas replied.

“You’ve never had soda?” Dean scoffed.

“No.” Cas shook his head.

“Well, when we stop for gas up here, I’ll get you one of your own, okay?” Dean asked.

“That’d be nice,” Cas said. “It was so fizzy. It felt like I was burning from the inside out. But… in a good way.”

Dean chuckled and looked back over at Cas’s hand.

“Sorry,” Cas muttered, noticing and taking his hand off Dean’s arm.

“I don’t mind,” Dean said. “But most people don’t like when you randomly touch them. So many things you’re really going to have to learn now.”

“I don’t understand why being human is so much different than being an angel as far as social requirements go,” Cas stated.

“Because as an angel you can come and go and nothing matters, but if you’re a human and going to stay human you’ll need to know how to socially blend that you can have friends and find a wife–”

“Or a husband,” Cas interjected.

“-or a husband.” Dean continued. “And if you want a normal life, you need to learn to be a normal person.”

“What if I don’t want a normal life?” Cas asked.

“If you have the chance for a normal life with a wife or husband and kids or dogs or whatever you want, take it,” Dean said. “You have a choice, Cas. Not everyone does.”

“Well, I choose this. And you,” Cas replied.

“Wait until you have a crush on someone and you might not feel the same way,” Dean retorted.

“I will always feel the same way,” Cas stated. “I owe you my life. Both of you.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to waste it with us,” Dean said.

“It’s not wasting it. It’s what I want,” Cas argued.

“I’m glad one of us thinks that at least,” Dean sighed, flipping the turn signal and waiting to be let in towards the exit.

* * *

 

“Cas, do you really need six bottles of soda?” Dean asked. “Like, really?”

“They’re delicious!” Cas replied, already having drunken half of one before paying for it. “This one is cherry. And this one is grape. And this one is something called root beer. Does that have actual alcohol in it?”

“No,” Dean answered, setting his one soda, chips, and hotdog on the counter.

“Anything else for you today?” The employee asked, turning towards the two of them and scanning their items.

“I need thirty dollars worth of gas into station number 3 there,” Dean said, holding his credit card in his hand.

“Alright, give me just a moment there,” he replied, tapping some buttons on his screen. “Your total is going to be $57.08.”

Dean gave a low whistle and handed him his card.

“Can I see ID?” he asked. “Mr. Bowman is it?”

“Sure thing,” Dean replied, reaching into his wallet and handing him one of the many fake ID’s he carried on his person.

“Thank you,” the employee sang, handing it back to him.

Their things were bagged and handed to them and once the gas was in Dean’s car, they were back on the road again.

“Don’t drink all those at once,” Dean said. “We don’t have another stop for a good while. It’s all freeway from here pretty much.”

“I’m not drinking them all right now,” Cas replied, opening another one and raising it to his lips. “I’m trying them all and seeing which one I like the best.”

“Okay, Cas.” Dean drawled, pulling over into the rightmost lane.

“You think this is foolish, don’t you?” Cas asked.

Dean nodded. “Yeah.”

“I think so, too,” Cas said. “But they taste so good how can I choose?”

“I think soda is one of those things you just have so much in your life that eventually it’s nothing special,” Dean replied.

“Well, I have not hit that point in my life, yet,” Cas stated, opening his last soda and sampling it. “This one’s my favorite for sure.”

“Which is it?” Dean asked.

“Um…” Cas spun the bottle around in his hands reading the label. “Blue Raspberry.”

“Hm. Didn’t take you for a Blue Raspberry kind of guy,” Dean mused. “You learn something new every day.”

“What would identify me as a ‘Blue Raspberry kind of guy’?” Cas asked.

Dean smiled over at him. “Nothing. Don’t mind me.”

“Oh. Alright.” Cas softly smiled back at him and sipped from the same bottle again before putting it in the cupholder.

“You know uh–”Dean began, turning the radio down. “-his name was Leonard, but he went by Leo. He taught middle school math at this small little school in Missouri.”

“Who?” Cas asked.

“I was about twelve when I met him. And he was just my teacher, but I saw him and–and my whole world view just changed,” Dean said. “I didn’t want to leave Missouri because of him, even if I knew nothing would come of it, but meeting Leonard Dalley was the first time I realized I was… into men.”

“Oh.” Cas breathed, looking up at him.

“You asked,” Dean said quietly. “No one knows. I mean, some people might suspect, but I think I do a pretty good job of hiding it.”

“You shouldn’t have to hide it,” Cas stated. “Loving men is nothing to be ashamed of.”

“It feels like it is,” Dean replied. “Even if I tell myself a hundred times that there’s nothing wrong with me and that it’s normal, I don’t think I can make myself believe it.”

Dean could feel Cas staring at him, but again he couldn’t bring himself to look him in the eyes.

“Ever since Lisa, I haven’t really felt much of anything for anyone, really,” Dean continued. “Even that was fairly watered down and not what it could have been. A few weeks ago, I found a hunter who was gay and we really hit it off and it made for a pretty great night later on, but for a second, I caught myself imagining a life with him.”

“You don’t have to tell me all this if you don’t want to,” Cas stated.

“I know,” Dean said. “But I have no one else to tell.”

“What about Sam?” Cas asked.

“When I said that no one knew, that included Sam,” Dean sighed. “I never told him. I don’t think he has a clue.”

“I just don’t see why you all make such a big deal out of something so trivial as the type of humans you’re attracted to,” Cas replied.

“I don’t know.” Dean shook his head. “I guess as humans we have a natural need to define and label and then discriminate against anyone that’s different than us.”

“That’s shitty,” Cas sneered.

“Yeah. It is,” Dean agreed. “You’re not gonna tell anyone, right?”

“Of course not,” Cas answered. “You know I’d never betray your trust like that.”

“I know.” Dean nodded. “I don’t know why I just said that, but…”

“Asked if I wouldn’t tell anyone?”

“No, just all of that,” Dean said. “I don’t know why I brought any of that up.”

“It must have just been on your mind,” Cas replied.

“Must have,” Dean stated.

“Why did you stop yourself from imagining yourself happy with a life with that other hunter?” Cas asked. “Because hunters can’t lead normal lives?”

“No, well, that too. But, I stopped myself because I can’t imagine it ever being a reality. I can’t see myself ever being comfortable enough with a man to let anyone know or to show it or to be a couple,” Dean explained.

“Do you want that?” Cas continued.

“I think we all want that white picket fence life somewhere deep down. Just some want it more than others and some actually work towards it,” Dean said. “I think in retrospect, I would like a normal life with a normal house and normal kids and a normal husband or wife, but hunting always catches up. Your past never leaves you.”

“If your past never leaves you, then how can you tell me I should move on and get a normal life?” Cas asked.

“Because I want you to get one while you still can,” Dean stated. “You have a fresh start. You have no history, you have no past. You can just choose what you want to do and where you want to go and who you want to be.”

“I want to be Castiel and I want to kill monsters and I want to be a hunter,” Cas stated. “With you and Sam.”

“Well, I wish Sam could have a normal life, too. Maybe with Eileen. I think he’d like that,” Dean said. “But, the hunter life always catches up with you. You’re never out. You’re never free.”

Cas sighed and looked out the window at a billboard advertising penile growth pills and then looked back at Dean. “So which are you?”

“Which what?” Dean asked.

“Are you gay?” Cas replied.

“No,” Dean stated. “I’m–I am–”Dean brought his voice down to a near whisper as he finished with “-bisexual.”

“ You shouldn’t sound so ashamed of it, Dean,” Cas said. “You should say it with confidence, not uncertainty and fear.”

“Listen, I know you think that everyone’s all equal and we’re all buddy-buddy, but humans don’t believe that. We don’t work like that,” Dean argued. “When people know that you’re not straight, you’re immediately different and it’s like you’re not even the same person they’ve known.”

“I haven’t witnessed that to any extent that you describe.” Cas replied.

“Yeah, well how many people have you had constantly make fun of ‘fags’ to your face without knowing you were one?” Dean countered.

“None, you’re right,” Cas stated. “But, do you ever think that maybe you’re projecting your own internalized disgust onto other people?”

“No.” Dean scoffed. “I can’t have internalized disgust with _myself_.”

“Then maybe you should show some pride in who you are,” Cas said. “If you’re truly not disgusted with yourself.”

“There’s no pride in being the one everyone says is a slut and a cheater,” Dean stated.

“Who says that?” Cas asked.

“Everyone,” Dean replied. “That’s the stereotype-it’s what everyone thinks when they know that you’re bisexual.”

“So, who cares what they think?” Cas paused to take a yawn. “Prove them all wrong.”

“Are you tired?” Dean asked, trying to swerve the conversation in another direction.

“A bit,” Cas responded. “We _did_ have to get up fairly early to get on our way,”

“Why don’t you take a nap? I got a blanket and pillow in the backseat if you need one,” Dean offered, looking over his shoulder. “We’ve got some hours on the road before we get into the city.”

“Maybe I will,” Cas muttered, reaching behind his seat and pulling the pillow and blanket up to the front. “We’re going to want to be rested and alert so we can do our research.”

“I don’t think we’re going to get into town soon enough to do much,” Dean said. “But feel free to get some shut-eye while you can. These motels aren’t exactly well built if you know what I mean.”

“Are you implying that the poor architecture would cause the building to fall apart, thus waking us from our sleep to run for our lives from the crumbling infrastructure?” Cas asked.

“No.” Dean shook his head. “I mean, that’s a possibility too, but I was implying that the walls are very thin and you can hear everything. It’s a bit hard to sleep without a good dose of whiskey usually.”

“I think I can sleep fine without alcoholic assistance,” Cas stated. “If you’ve forgotten, I used to take the form of an extremely high frequency wavelength. I _am_ noise.”

“You say that, but it’s a bit different when you’ve got a prostitute next door to you,” Dean said. “Trust me.”

* * *

Cas woke up a few hours later and looked around. They were surrounded by cars, the sound of someone honking a few cars behind them in the background.

“Where are we?” Cas asked, sniffing and sitting up straight.

“Well we’re a little ways out of Missouri,” Dean replied. “St. Louis. I don’t think we’re going to make it to Kentucky tonight. This traffic jam is shit.”

“What are we going to do, then?”

“Well, we’ll see how far we can get out of St. Louis and stop for the night there. We can get a few hours sleep and make it out to Kentucky in the morning and go straight to work then,” Dean explained.

“That’s fine with me,” Cas said. “Are we going to stop anywhere?”

“Yeah, I figured we could stop for a burger or something once we’re out of this mess,” Dean answered, inching the car forward a little bit. “But that problem won’t be for a while.”

“What’s the hold up?”

“Well, I don’t really know,” Dean replied. “There must be some game or event in town right now. I heard the freeway was busy so I figured I’d take the main streets to avoid it, but–as you can see–the main streets aren’t much better.”

“How much longer do you think it’ll be?” Cas asked.

“Who knows,” Dean sighed. “Why? You need something?”

“To be quite honest, I don’t feel that great,” Cas stated. “My stomach kind of hurts.”

“Alright,” Dean replied. “Once we get out of here, I’ll stop to get some gas and you can stretch your legs a little bit.”

Cas nodded over at him and looked out the window at the other cars.

“You motion sick? It was pretty bumpy not too long ago,” Dean said.

“I don’t know. I’ve never felt much of anything before,” Cas replied.

“Maybe it’s because you’ve got nothing but soda in you?” Dean reached into the backseat and tossed Cas the bag of chips Dean got earlier. “Try eating a little.”

“Good thought. You’re smart, Dean,” Cas said, unfolding the top of the bag and taking a few chips in his hand.

“Hopefully, eating will help,” Dean mused, moving forward a little more. “I wonder if I could try and just completely go around St. Louis?”

“Are you going to have enough gas to do that?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, we’ll be fine. I stopped a little ways back and refilled with the spare gas that I keep in the back just in case something like this happened,” Dean replied. “So, good thing I did.”

“Yes, definitely,” Cas agreed.

Dean flicked his turn signal on and looked out the passenger side mirror. “Let’s see if anyone will let me in.”

While they waited to edge their way into the next lane, Cas finished the bag of chips and put the empty bag back into the backseat.

“That better?” Dean asked, starting to turn his wheel to the right.

“No,” Cas sighed.

“Hey, carbonation settles your stomach sometimes,” Dean replied. “Try drinking some more pop.”

“Oh yeah, I’ve got all this don’t I?” Cas mused, reaching under his legs and pulling up a half-empty bottle.

“Careful opening it,” Dean warned, forcing his way out of his lane and into the one next to him. A person in the next lane honked as they moved a little and pulled in front of him so he couldn’t get in again.

“Bastard…” he muttered, honking back at them.

Cas untwisted the lid and let the air slowly hiss out of it so it wouldn’t explode and make a mess in the car.

Dean tried again to squeeze into the next lane, butting the front of his car in and making sure not to give the person next to him room to swing past him. As the traffic moved up a little more, he made sure to claim that as his space and move further into it, even if now he was stretched between two lanes.

The cars behind him honked loudly and Dean groaned. “Oh, shut up.”

“Well, they seem frustrated with you,” Cas replied.

“Hey, do my a favor would you?” Dean asked.

“Anything,” Cas responded.

“Roll your window down and stick out your middle finger,” Dean stated.

“Are you sure?” Cas asked. “That’s a fairly rude gesture, isn’t it?”

“I know,” Dean said.

Cas sighed and rolled down his window and stuck his middle finger out. “Sorry!” he yelled, giving an awkward smile at the person behind them.

“Don’t say sorry,” Dean groaned.

“Oh. Whoops,” Cas chuckled, sticking his head back out the window. “Never mind, we’re not sorry!”

“Get back in the car,” Dean sighed, tugging Cas by his shoulder.

Cas sat back down and pulled his arm back inside the car. “Sorry.”

Dean snorted and smiled at him. “Road rage is another very important aspect of being human. You’ll learn about it soon enough.

“Wouldn’t it be distracting and unsafe to insult other drivers while you yourself are trying to maneuver a vehicle?” Cas asked.

“Well, yeah, but you get used to it,” Dean stated. “Especially if you do it a lot.”

“I can’t see myself doing it much,” Cas said.

“You’d be surprised,” Dean chuckled, pulling completely into the next lane. “Hey, you think you could look up the quickest way out of here for me?”

“Yeah, sure,” Cas replied, taking his phone from his pocket and opening it up. “Oh, someone’s been texting me.”

“Who?” Dean asked. “I didn’t realize you had people to text.”

“I don’t,” Cas stated, looking through the messages. “It’s your mom.”

“How’d she get your number?” Dean asked.

Cas shrugged.

“What’d she want with you and not me?” Dean continued.

Cas read the message and looked up at Dean. “She said for me to take care of you and keep you safe.”

“I think I can do that on my own,” Dean chuckled.

“I think so too,” Cas replied, going to check traffic maps. “But it’s sweet she thought to get my number just to say that.”

“Yeah, I suppose,” Dean stated. “How’s it looking?”

“Uh… I don’t know which direction anything is but–”Cas held his phone up for Dean to see.

Dean sighed deeply. “Doesn’t matter which way is north, there’s traffic everywhere no matter where we look.”

“So are we just stuck here?” Cas asked.

“I guess. See what route would be the fastest to where we’re going.” Dean said.

Cas took his phone back and searched the map, waiting for it to calculate the way to go.

“What’s it say?”

“The map says to turn right up ahead and then go south for a while to get away from the event up here,” Cas stated.

“What’s going on? Can you figure that out?” Dean asked.

“I’m sure it’ll be on the news or online. Let me look,” Cas replied.

Dean worked on preparing to shift over to the turning lane while Cas searched online for any big event in the area.

Dean did the same thing as before, beginning to force his way into the right lane.

“There’s a Beyoncé concert happening in an hour,” Cas stated. “They’ve got lots of roads blocked for it around the convention center. That must be causing all the traffic.”

“Fucking Beyoncé,” Dean grumbled, pulling straight into the lane. “How’s your stomach?”

“Worse,” Cas said.

“How bad?” Dean asked.

“I mean, it’s incredibly unpleasant,” Cas replied. “But, it’s tolerable.”

“Where does it hurt?” Dean sighed. “The sides?”

Cas put pressure on his stomach at both sides and then shook his head. “Not anymore than the rest of it.”

“Good,” Dean said.

“Why is that good?” Cas asked.

“If you get a bad stomach pain near the side, it might mean you’re appendix is about to burst. Or the gallbladder,” Dean explained.

“Oh, well it’s not there,” Cas stated, putting his hand flat up against his abdomen. “It hurts to the touch though.”

“Don’t touch it,” Dean retorted. “Lift up your shirt.”

“What, why?” Cas asked, pulling his shirt out from his pants and holding it up.

“You don’t look swollen or anything,” Dean replied, looking over at him.

Cas put his shirt down but didn’t bother tucking it back in. “I have a stomach ache, Dean. I’m not dying.”

“Hey, I don’t know what kind of weird shit Jimmy might have left you with,” Dean stated. “I don’t want anything happening to you,” he said quietly.

“I’m glad one of us thinks that,” Cas muttered.

“Hey,” Dean snapped. “Don’t talk like that.”

Cas ignored him and looked out his window at an abandoned building.

“Listen, I know you’re not happy with your situation right now. I know better than anyone that being a human fucking sucks ass, okay?”

Cas didn’t look back up at Dean, but looked down towards his lap.

“This is only temporary, Cas,” Dean stated. “We’re going to get you your grace back and you’ll be back to being a feathery pain in our asses in no time, okay?”

“What if you can’t?” Cas asked.

“We will,” Dean said.

“You don’t know that for a fact,” Cas argued.

“Yes I do,” Dean replied. “You’re my best friend. You saved my life too many times to count. I’m getting you your grace back. I owe you at least that.”

“You saved my life more times to count, too,” Cas stated.

“We’re getting your grace back. You’re not stuck like this forever,” Dean responded. “As soon as we get any kind of lead on where the angels that took it went, we’re going to get it back.”

“I know you’ll try your hardest,” Cas said, opening his phone back up and going to play a game.

* * *

Cas put his phone to sleep and set it on the dashboard of the Impala, going to undo his seatbelt.

“What are you doing?” Dean asked. “We’re not stopping anywhere soon yet. Hopefully, we’ll at least start clearing this traffic soon though.”

“The seatbelt is putting too much pressure on my stomach and it’s making it hurt more,” Cas explained, letting the seatbelt wind back up into the car.

“That bad?” Dean frowned at him in concern. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I don’t think I’m in any fatal danger,” Cas stated.

“Well, that’s not what I asked,” Dean replied. “I asked if you were okay?”

“My stomach hurts, Dean. Rather badly. But you seem to forget that at one point I hid an entire holy text inside myself, so a stomach ache is not going to be the worst thing I experienced,” Cas stated.

“Well, obviously it hurts enough that you can’t wear a seatbelt with it,” Dean said. “That’s not good.”

“It also hurts whenever you go over a bump, so if you could avoid potholes, that would be much appreciated,” Cas added.

Dean groaned and looked at him sympathetically. “Once we get out of here, are you gonna need a doctor?”

Cas laughed a little. “Since when do hunters do doctors?”

“I know, I know,” Dean sighed. “We do everything ourselves.”

“I can’t name one time I saw you with an actual, legitimate doctor,” Cas said. “I don’t need a doctor if you don’t.”

“I know but–,” Dean groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t want to take any risks with you.”

“I don’t need a doctor,” Cas stated. “I’ll let you know if I think I will, but I don’t right now.”

“Fine, but you tell me, okay?” Dean said.

“I could use more help passing this Candy Crush level,” Cas retorted. “I’ve been stuck on it for two weeks now. I’m tempted to pay money to pass it.”

“Cas…” Dean drawled.

“I know, I know, it’s not allowed,” Cas groaned. “I’d appreciate a gift card at some point possibly.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Dean chuckled, turning a corner and cheering. “Look at that!”

“The traffic’s lighter here,” Cas stated, looking down at his phone again. “The map says to get onto the freeway from here and take that wherever we need to go.”

Dean nodded. “You need to stop for anything? I’m still planning on stopping for something to eat a little closer to where we’re gonna hole up for the night, but I need to get gas first.”

“I don’t require anything,” Cas said, shaking his head.

“Alright, why don’t you put gas in the car and I’ll go in and get you something for your stomach if they have anything?” Dean suggested.

“What do you mean?” Cas asked.

“Like medicine. Maybe some Pepto,” Dean replied.

“They sell medicine at gas stations?”

“They sell everything at gas stations,” Dean answered in amusement, waiting to turn into the driveway of a gas station.

Once they got up to the pumps at the station, Dean turned off the car and smiled over at Cas. “You know how to put gas in her, right?”

Cas nodded. “I remember,” Cas said.

“Alright, I’ll be back soon,” Dean replied. “I’ll pay in there for it, so don’t worry about that.”

“Okay,” Cas replied.

Dean went into the store of the gas station and Cas got out to put the gas in. As soon as he stood, it felt like someone was pressing their hand right up against his stomach. He groaned and forced himself to carry on despite it, going over and inserting the pump into the gas tank.

Cas let the pump sit in the car and he leaned forward against it, resting his arms on the top of the car and his head on his arms.

When Dean came out, he saw Cas hunched over against the car and ran over. “Cas, are you alright?”

Cas nodded silently.

“Why are you standing like that?” Dean asked.

“Standing hurts,” Cas stated.

“Go, go sit back down,” Dean said. “I’ll finish it up here.”

“Okay.” Cas took a deep breath and went back over to the passenger side of the car and got inside.

Dean finished up putting gas in the car and got back in it. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Cas replied.

Dean raised his eyebrows at him.

“And yes, I’m sure,” Cas stated.

“Here, take a sip of this,” Dean said, reaching into the bag he had with him and handing Cas a bright pink bottle.

“What is it?” Cas asked.

“Stomach ache medicine,” Dean replied.

Dean waited for Cas to open it and get the safety seals removed before he started driving again.

“This stuff tastes really good,” Cas said, screwing the lid back on.

“Don’t get carried away,” Dean mused. “Stick to your soda if you’re thirsty.”

“I had no intentions of drinking medication as a refreshment,” Cas replied.

“You never know with people, okay?” Dean chuckled, pulling out onto the freeway. “How long does your phone say it will take to get to the border?”

Cas opened the map application backed up and waited for it to determine their location. “About 18 hours.”

“Eighteen–what?” Dean scoffed. “Kentucky is right next door to us.”

“Oh you meant Kentucky!” Cas exclaimed.

“The hell did you think I meant?” Dean asked.

“Well, I assumed you meant the US Mexican border,” Cas answered.

“No.” Dean shook his head. “No.”

“Well, from here to Kentucky is almost four hours,” Cas stated.

“We might make it to Kentucky if we’re lucky tonight,” Dean replied. “No way we’re making it any further than that though.”

“Are we going to get a motel?” Cas asked.

“Well, I don’t think we could comfortably share the backseat,” Dean mused. “We’ll stop somewhere for the night, don’t worry.”

Cas nodded and Dean smiled at him. Cas met his gaze and gave him a small smile back. The two of them looked into each other’s gaze for a long moment until Cas broke the silence.

“Dean, watch out!” he yelled, looking up and seeing cars stopped in front of him.

Dean slammed on the brakes, one hand immediately flying out to the side and pushing Cas back against the seat so he wouldn’t get hurt, causing Cas to cry out in pain. The brakes of the car screeched as they worked to stop the car, but they weren’t slowing enough so Dean wrenched the car into another lane, pissing off many surrounding drivers.

“Shit,” Dean panted, lifting off the brakes and starting to regain control of the car. “Cas, are you okay?”

“Yes, I am,” he answered.

“I know I hit you a bit hard there,” Dean stated.

“My stomach doesn’t hurt anymore,” Cas said.

“It doesn’t?”

“No, it feels fine now,” Cas replied.

“Well, that’s good at l–oh fuck,” Dean gasped.

“What?” Cas looked at him in confusion.

Dean’s mouth opened and his eyes widened as he looked over and down.

Cas looked down and saw what Dean was staring at. He was so shocked at the near accident that he didn’t even notice that he’d wet himself. Once he saw his pants, he zoned back into reality and could feel the pressure leaving his stomach and the pee leaving his body still.

He looked up at Dean mortified.

Dean finally shut his mouth and sighed out through his nose.

“That wasn’t a stomach ache, was it?” Cas asked quietly.

Dean shook his head. “God dammit, Cas.”

Cas hid his face in his hands and looked down. “I didn’t mean to. I–I didn’t know, I swear!”

“I know,” Dean groaned, slowing down and merging lanes. “I know you didn’t.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Cas sighed, taking a peak up at Dean. He saw Dean’s clenched jaw and stern gaze at the cars in front of him. “I know how you are about your car.”

“It’s fine,” Dean said. “Next time, just tell me you need to take a piss. I’ll stop.”

“I didn’t know I had to,” Cas said.

“Wait, what?” Dean scoffed.

“I didn’t know that I needed to urinate,” Cas stated.

“How?” Dean looked over at him in surprise. “You’ve been human for longer than this car ride.”

“I’ve been setting alarms to remind myself when I’m supposed to go to the bathroom and eat. I assumed you guys just knew when you were supposed to do basic things,” Cas replied.

“We do,” Dean stated. “Because our body tells us.”

“Oh,” Cas said.

“I’m gonna pull over in a minute and we’ll get you some clean clothes out,” Dean sighed, merging into the exit lane.

“Okay,” Cas muttered, closing his eyes in exasperation.

“Hey, at least you’re not sick or dying,” Dean mused, slowing down to the proper speed limit.

Dean turned at the light and pulled into the parking lot of a store on the side of the road. As they stopped, Cas got out of the car and cringe at how wet his seat and the floor was.

Dean got into the backseat and grabbed Cas’s duffel bag, getting him some clean clothes.

“Here,” Dean said, sliding the clothes across the roof of the car and opening the trunk.

He heard the sound of a zipper and then pants hitting the ground.

Dean took a towel out and threw it over the roof of the car, too. "That's all I got, but watch the motor oil. That's not the kinda lube you need anywhere near your dick," Dean retorted.

“Thanks,” Cas replied, bending over to take his underwear off.

Dean sat with his back against the Impala, waiting for Cas and watching the cars go by. He sighed and took his phone from his pocket.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, walking away from the car and putting his phone up to his ear.

“Hey, Dean,” Sam answered, slightly out of breath.

“What’s up?” Dean asked. “You’re panting. You’re not in the middle of a hunt right now, are you?”

“No, we’re done with the action tonight,” Sam replied.

“We?” Dean raised the pitch of his voice. “You guys were making out weren’t you?”

“No,” Sam stated.

“I’m not even there and I can tell you’re lying,” Dean snickered.

Sam exhaled into the receiver.

“Way to get some, Sammy,” Dean sang.

“Where are you?” Sam asked.

“We’re just barely out of St. Louis,” Dean said.

“St. Louis?” Sam scoffed. “Are you driving at the speed of a grandmother?”

“There was a Beyoncé concert and all the roads were closed down and we spent hours in this horrible traffic jam. We just got out of it and we’re going to go down and around St. Louis instead of through it,” Dean explained.

“Yikes,” Sam retorted. “Are you guys stopped now?”

“Yeah, I’m waiting on Cas and then we’re going to hit the road again,” Dean answered. “We’re gonna stop for gas when I see a station and then probably won’t stop again until we get wherever we’re gonna get because we’re not making it much further than just into Kentucky tonight I don’t think.”

“What are you waiting on him for?” Sam asked.

“He’s getting changed,” Dean replied.

“Changed?” Sam laughed. “What for?”

Dean paused and thought for a moment. “He dressed too warmly for the weather here and wanted to put on something lighter.”

“That was never something he had to worry about before, was it?” Sam mused.

“No, it wasn’t,” Dean replied. “Hopefully it’s not something he’ll have to deal with for long.”

“How’s he doing?” Sam asked.

“He’s doing,” Dean said. “I think he’s depressed.”

“Everything he is just got ripped from him and he doesn’t know how to get it back,” Sam stated. “I’d be depressed, too.”

“I’m not saying it’s not justified,” Dean replied. “I just haven’t seen him like this before. I’ve seen the guy upset before, but this is different.”

“He’ll make it out okay,” Sam said.

Dean exhaled a shaky breath and looked over his shoulder. “I don’t see Cas so I should go find out what he’s doing.”

“Alright. Text me when you make it to a hotel, okay?” Sam asked.

“Yeah sure,” Dean said, heading back towards the Impala. “Later, Sammy.”

“Later, Dean,” Sam answered, Dean slipping his phone back into his pocket.

Dean went back over to the Impala and saw Cas’s door open. “You decent?” He asked.

“Yes, I am,” Cas replied. “Do you have somewhere I can put my clothes?”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Dean answered, pulling out the plastic bag he’d gotten earlier from the gas station.

Dean went around to see what he was doing and Cas was on his knees trying to use the towel to clean the floor up and dry the seat.

“You don’t need to do that,” Dean stated.

“Yes, I do. It’s my mess,” Cas grumbled.

“I have stuff in the trunk to clean it with, but I’m not about to sit here and waste time on it right now,” Dean said. “So sit on the blanket for now and we’ll deal with it later,” Dean said.

“Really?” Cas looked up at him.

Dean nodded. “Come on. We got a body to salt and burn somewhere,”

“Okay,” Cas responded, standing up and dusting off the knees of his pants. Dean handed Cas the plastic bag and Cas put the towel in there along with his wet clothes. “Thanks.”

* * *

Once it got too far past midnight, Dean decided to call it a night at the next motel they found. After stopping for a late night bite to eat, they ended up at a shady joint somewhere outside Louisville.

“I’ve had enough Louis’s for tonight,” Dean grumbled, slinging his duffel bag over his shoulder and looking at the flickering vacancy sign.

Dean shut the car door and he and Cas went into the muggy office. “Hello?”

An old man at a desk was asleep with a newspaper over his face, but he woke up at the sound of Dean’s voice.

“We need a room,” Dean stated.

“Well I assume that’s why you’re here,” he replied.

Cas followed silently behind Dean, standing next to him at the counter.

“I take it you need two beds?”

“Yes,” Dean said, reaching for his wallet.

“Forty-one, even,” the man stated.

Dean put two twenties and a five on the counter and waited as the man grabbed a set of keys off a rack.

“You’re all set,” the man said, handing Dean a key.

“My change?” Dean asked.

“We’re out of change.”

Dean groaned and rolled his eyes. “Come on, Cas.”

The two of them walked the hall down to their room and Dean unlocked the door. “Welcome home.”

“This isn’t home,” Cas replied.

“I know,” Dean sighed. “I was being pretentious.”

“Oh,” Cas muttered.

“I’m gonna take a leak,” Dean said, stepping into the bathroom. “Decide which bed you want.”

“Okay,” Cas said, walking into the room and setting his bag down.

“Holy wow!” Dean exclaimed. “There’s a whole chunk missing out of the toilet seat in here.”

“That’s odd,” Cas replied.

“I don’t know if I want to know what happened,” Dean mused. The toilet creaked a little as Dean raised the seat which Cas could hear from where he was standing.

Cas set his duffel bag in the middle of the two beds and sat on the one near the air conditioner. He closed his eyes and set the cool air caress his skin, taking a deep breath. After a moment, he opened his eyes and stared out the window. It was completely still outside to the point of being eerie. There was no wind, no sounds, no cars driving by, just the black sky and the poorly illuminated parking lot.

“ _Caaaas_ ,” Dean sang. “Yoo-hoo?”

“Oh!” Cas jumped up and looked at him.

“You tired?” Dean asked.

“I must be,” Cas replied.

“I said your name like three times,” Dean chuckled.

“Sorry,” Cas said. “What’d you need?”

“Nothing,” Dean answered. “You were just all spacey. You okay?”

“I’m just tired like you said,” Cas stated. “We both are, I’m sure.”

Dean nodded. “You taking this bed?”

“No, I prefer being further from the airflow. It makes my mouth dry,” Cas said. “I just sat here because I wanted to look out the window.”

“Okay.” Dean replied, smiling at him and sitting on the bed next to him. Cas looked up at him and then hugged him tightly, hiding his face in the crook of Dean’s neck. Dean froze in surprise for a couple seconds, before slowly bringing his arms up and hugging Cas back.

“Thank you for not yelling at me today,” Cas whispered. “I know you were upset and wanted to.”

“I didn’t want to,” Dean said. “I may have been upset, but I didn’t want to yell at you,” Dean said.

“I’m sorry,” Cas sighed.

Dean pulled Cas off him and sighed. “You didn’t ask for this. It’s not your fault.”

“Thanks,” Cas replied, running his hands down Dean’s arms. Dean gave Cas a pat on the hand and then went to start taking his shoes off.

“I don’t think they’re going to have a laundromat anywhere out here, but I’ll find one once we get into town and get your clothes washed,” Dean stated.

“That’s fine,” Cas said, standing up. “I’m not in a hurry.”

* * *

“Cas!” Dean shouted, shaking him awake. “Cas!”

“Huh,” Cas slurred, opening his eyes. “D–Dean, what are you doing?”

“Are you okay?” Dean asked.

“What do you mean?” Cas replied.

“You were crying out. Like you were in pain,” Dean stated.

“I had a nightmare,” Cas said. “That’s all.”

“So, you’re okay, right?” Dean asked.

“Of course I’m okay,” Cas replied, yawning. “Tired, but okay.”

“You want to get in bed with me?” Dean offered. “Would that make you feel any better?”

“I’m fine, Dean,” Cas stated. “It’s just a bad dream, but thank you for caring.”

“Alright,” Dean whispered. “Go back to sleep.”

* * *

“Hey, Cas!” Sam said, answering the phone.

“Sam, your brother is driving me to insanity,” Cas stated.

Sam laughed into his phone. “Why? What’s he doing now?”

“He’s so overbearing,” Cas said. “I appreciate what he’s doing, but he’s constantly checking on him and making sure I’m okay and treating me like a fragile ornament.”

Sam sighed. “You went from being literally invincible to being human. One fuck up, and we die sometimes, He’s worried about you is all. There’s a lot you don’t know about being human.”

“I know that,” Cas stated. “But I'm not about to try to jump off a cliff to see if I can still fly.”

“You’re his best friend, Cas,” Sam said. “Mine, too. Neither of us want anything to happen to you. And if anything happened to you when you were with him, he’d never forgive himself. He’d blame himself.”

“Well, nothing’s going to happen to me,” Cas argued. “I know he’s been easier on me since I lost my grace, but spending all day in the car with him–he treats me like I’m helpless, Sam.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t treat you that bad,” Sam chuckled.

“I had a nightmare last night and he offered to get in bed with me to comfort me even after I told him I was fine,” Cas stated.

“He did what?” Sam scoffed.

“I had a nightmare last ni–”

“No, I get that, but wow.” Sam laughed. “I did not expect that.”

“I’m sure he already told you about how I peed in the car, but did he tell you that he didn’t even say one mean thing?” Cas replied.

“Wait what?” Sam asked. “What do you mean?”

“Dean was talking with you right after it happened,” Cas said. “Did he not tell you?”

“He didn’t tell me anything,” Sam said. “When he called you guys were pulled over because you had to put on some cooler clothes.”

“Oh, is that what he told you?” Cas asked.

“Yes,” Sam replied. “So, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, well, I peed in the car,” Cas stated.

“He’s used to that though,” Sam said. “Why would he be mad?”

“What?” Cas scoffed.

“Whenever we’re on the road and don’t have time to or can’t stop, we use bottles and cups all the time,” Sam replied.

“Oh,” Cas breathed. “Well, I didn’t use a bottle or a cup,”

“What do you mean?” Sam asked.

“I had an accident,” Cas muttered.

“Oh, wow!” Sam exclaimed. “Sorry.”

“But he didn’t yell at me,” Cas said. “He didn’t say anything. He just stopped so I could change and got me my clothes and a towel and kept telling me it was okay.”

“Wow,” Sam mused. “I spill a soda and he kicks me out nearly.”

“See what I mean, Sam?” Cas sighed. “He’s babying me.”

“Maybe he just wasn’t that upset about it?” Sam suggested.

“This is Dean we’re talking about,” Cas said. “He was furious. I could tell. He was angry and upset and frustrated, but he didn’t actually say anything about it.”

“God, that’s bizarre,” Sam muttered. “I wonder if he’s been possessed.”

“He can’t be–he has an anti-possession tattoo,” Cas stated.

Sam laughed. “I know. I was being sarcastic.”

“Oh,” Cas replied. 

“How’s the hunt coming?” Sam asked.

“It was fine,” Cas said.

“Was?”

“It was a very quick hunt. Straightforward. We already burned the bones and Dean’s out getting some beer,” Cas explained.

“Oh, wow,” Sam mused. “That is quick. Are you guys coming back tomorrow then?”

“I imagine so,” Cas answered. “But it might take us two days to get there. It was quite the drive here.”

“Why don’t you guys take your time?” Sam suggested. “There’s nothing we need you here urgently for and it might be good for you to relax for a few days.”

“I can’t relax,” Cas said. “I have to find my gr–”

“I know you have to find your grace,” Sam interrupted. “But our computers are watching round the clock for any sign of angel activity right now. You being here isn’t going to help them go any faster. So why don’t you and Dean take your time and have a little fun on the way home?”

“I’ll tell him, but I don’t think he’ll go for it,” Cas stated.

“Hey, if he’s acting all soft and weird, he just might,” Sam mused.

“Oh, I have to go.” Cas looked up as the lock to the door began rattling. “Dean’s here.”

“Alright, tell him I said hi,” Sam said.

“I will,” Cas replied, hanging up the phone and setting it on the bed next to him as Dean stepped in. “Welcome back, Dean.”

“You know, I know that I say I miss the days when hunts were just ghosts, but dude, this was boring as fuck,” Dean groaned, setting the case of beer down on the ground in front of Cas.

“Sam said hi,” Cas stated.

“You talked to him?” Dean asked.

Cas nodded. “Right before you came in.”

“He say anything else?” Dean replied.

“No, but I didn’t ask,” Cas said. “He was saying that the two of us should take our time coming back since our hunt was so quick and it’s such a long drive.”

“Do you want to?” Dean asked.

“Don’t you want to get back?” Cas replied.

“Do you want to?” Dean repeated.

Cas shrugged. “I don’t mind either way.”

“I think it would be good for you,” Dean stated. “You could use a couple days to relax.”

“Hunters don’t relax,” Cas said.

“We can have a cheat day,” Dean said, kicking his shoes off and sitting on the edge of his bed facing Cas.

“Are you sure?” Cas replied.

“If it’s what you want, then yes,” Dean answered. “Besides, if Sam told us to do it, he probably wants a couple extra days with his girlfriend.”

Cas nodded in response and popped open a beer. “Why would he want us gone though?”

“Well, there are certain things you can’t do with other people around,” Dean said.

“You mean like sex,” Cas stated.

“Well, chiefly,” Dean chuckled.

“We’re not around all the time though,” Cas replied.

“I know, but–”Dean took a sip of his own beer. “–sometimes it’s nice to just have a weekend with the person you love.”

“So Sam loves her?” Cas asked.

“Well, they haven’t really been together that long,” Dean said.

“Well, then they’re not really getting a weekend with the person they love,” Cas stated.

“The idea is still the same,” Dean replied. “Even if you and I were gone, it’s still a pain to have to work everything around us coming home. I think taking an extra day getting home would be good for all of us.”

“That’s not something I’d ever expect you to have said,” Cas replied.

“Hell, I even agree there,” Dean muttered.

* * *

“Your credit cards are all fake, aren’t they?” Cas asked.

“Yeah,” Dean answered. “Why?”

“Why do you always stay in run down, gross places with parts of the toilet seat missing then?” Cas replied.

“It’s just easier,” Dean said.

“Why? You could be fairing so much nicer in a better hotel,” Cas stated.

“It’s just what I’m used to, I guess,” Dean replied. “Nothing makes me feel like home more than curious stains on the carpet and yellowed, peeling wallpaper.”

“Even with the bunker?” Cas asked.

“Well, I guess the bunker is like home now,” Dean mused. “But, I’m just too used to no-tel motel’s I guess.”

“Don’t you ever wish you could stay somewhere nicer?” Cas replied.

“Sometimes,” Dean said. “But, I’ve got bigger problems than how big the hot tub in my room is.”

“There are hotels with hot tubs in the rooms?” Cas looked at him in extreme curiosity.

“You want to splurge tonight?” Dean asked. “Stay somewhere nice?”

“Will it have a hot tub bath?” Cas replied.

“We can get one,” Dean said.

Cas smiled at him and Dean grinned back. “Let’s go find us a nice ass hotel.”

While driving, Dean spotted a Hilton and they decided to stay there. The lobby was large and clean and had a chandelier hanging above it. Dean hadn't seen a place this nice in ages and Cas had never.

"Welcome to the Hilton," a young girl said as they stepped up to the check-in counter. "Do you have a reservation?"

"No, what do you have?" Dean replied.

"We have our standard rooms, our deluxe rooms, and a few suites available," she answered.

"Which ones have the hot tubs?" Cas asked, an excited smile on his face.

"Those would be our suites," she replied.

"We'll take a suite," Dean said

"For how many nights will you be staying?" she asked.

"Just tonight," Dean responded.

She gave them a puzzled look. "One bed?"

"Two," Dean stated.

"Oh," she muttered looking down at her screen. "We have that available, so if I could just see your ID and paying card, we'll get you checked in."

Dean took out his wallet and rifled through his ID's, looking for the right one.

"Here you go." He handed her his ID and credit card and she typed the information from them into the computer.

"For one two bed suite it'll be $207.64 after tax along with a $100 security deposit that will remove off your card after check out," the lady explained.

Dean made a low whistle. "Alright."

She printed out some papers and then handed them two room keys. "Your room is on the 7th floor. Use the elevators behind you to get to it."

"Thanks," Dean said, taking his ID and card back. "Come on, Cas."

Dean adjusted his duffel bag around his shoulder as he walked while putting his cards back into his wallet.

They went up the elevator to their room and Dean opened the door using one of the plastic keys they'd been given.

"After you," Dean sang holding open the door for Cas.

Cas went in and set his bag on the ground by a bed and Dean flipped the light switch.

"Is that candy? On the pillows?" Cas asked, going up to the bed and picking it up.

"Yes," Dean answered, setting his bag on the other bed and reaching for his candy. "Ooh, it's a mint."

Cas unwrapped his and popped it in his mouth and then looked through an archway. "There's a kitchen in here! A whole kitchen in a hotel room!"

Dean chuckled and looked where Cas was pointing. "Yes, there is."

Cas turned around and opened the door behind him. "Look how big this bathroom is!"

Dean smiled fondly at him and watched Cas run inside. "It's so clean! I don't feel like I'm going to contract something if I touch the wrong surface!"

Dean snorted at him. "Well I'm glad herpes is no longer a concern for you."

"Me too," Cas replied, going over and looking into the tub. "I'm gonna try this thing out."

"Knock yourself out, Cas," Dean said. "Have fun."

Cas dropped the plug into the tub and turned the water on.

Dean went back to his bed and began searching through his bag for his phone charger.

While the tub was heating up and filling, Cas got out his night time clothes—a pair of soft pants and some clean underwear.

Cas brought them into the bathroom and pulled the lid of the toilet down and then set them there. He tested the temperature of the water and then turned it up a little higher.

By the time he got undressed, the tub was almost full so he dipped his leg in the water, carefully lowering himself in. He sunk down and let the water come up to his neck, sighing in pleasure.

"God dammit, where is it?" Dean muttered, taking everything from his bag. "Hey Cas, can I borrow your phone? I think I left my charger in the car and it's almost dead."

"Of course, Dean," Cas replied from the bathroom. "You're always welcome to use my things if you need. You don't have to ask."

"Alright, thanks," Dean said. "Where is it?"

"Oh it's in my pants in here," Cas answered, taking a moment to fully dip his head in. "You can come get it—I don't mind."

Dean stepped into the bathroom and grabbed Cas's jeans up off the floor.

"The password is SaveTheBees with no spaces and capitals," Cas stated.

"Of course it is," Dean chuckled, opening it up. He looked over at Cas and gave him an odd look. "Don't you want the massage jets on?"

"The what?" Cas asked.

"Oh god, you're missing out," Dean said, reaching over and using his free hand to twist a knob off to the side of the temperature control. Instantly, the tub began bubbling and Cas looked up at him in wonder.

"This is magical, Dean!" Cas exclaimed. "It really _does_ feel like a massage!"

"I know it does." Dean smiled at him and walked back out of the room.

That's when he looked down at Cas's phone and saw the page Cas last had open.

_How to tell if your best friend has a crush on you_

"Fuck," Dean hissed. He didn't intend on seeing it, but it was just open and now he was worried. He opened up Cas's history and felt his stomach sink inside him.

_Does my best friend have a crush on me?_

_Signs someone has a crush on you_

_What does it mean when your best friends comes out to you?_

_What to do if your best friend is in love with you_

Dean sighed and exited out of the browser. He went to contacts and picked out Sam's number. He let the phone ring and held it up to his ear.

"Hey, Cas!" Sam answered.

"Not Cas," Dean stated.

"Dean?" Sam scoffed. "What are you doing on Cas's phone?"

"Mine's dead and the charger is in the car," Dean replied.

* * *

“Are you guys going to take an extra day getting back?" Sam asked. "Judging by the fact that you're not near your car right now?"

"Yeah, Cas had never experienced a whirlpool tub so I got us a nice suite at the Hilton and he's in there now." Dean said. "How's Eileen?"

"She's great," Sam breathed. "She's gotta leave again tomorrow, though. I wish she were more local."

"I'm sure she does, too," Dean mused.

“Anyways, what’d you need?” Sam asked.

“Oh, I just wanted to call and let you know that we were going to spend the night somewhere,” Dean replied.

“Oh, alright.” Sam replied.

“Hey, uh–”Dean sighed and bit his lip. “–Cas say anything to you about me lately?”

“What do you mean?” Sam asked.

“Like, did he mention anything weird or ask about me or anything?” Dean explained.

“The topic of our conversations is not always you, Dean,” Sam said. “All he really said about you was that he was surprised that you didn’t yell at him when he–you know–had an accident.”

“He told you about that?”

“Yeah, I was surprised that he told me, too,” Sam said. “He was surprised that you didn’t tell me though. He only told me because he assumed you told me.”

“Oh,” Dean muttered.

“Why do you think he’s asking weird things about you?” Sam asked.

“No reason,” Dean answered. “He’s just been weird since losing his grace.”

“Yeah, he has,” Sam agreed.

“Anyways, I’ll let you go. I just wanted to let you know we were gonna camp out here,” Dean sighed.

“Alright, let me know when you get on the road again tomorrow,” Sam said.

“Will do,” Dean mused. “Later.”

Dean hung up the phone and set it on the table in between their two beds. Dean went back to the bathroom and poked his head in. “I’m all done, thanks.”

“Dean, this feels _amazing_ ,” Cas drawled. “You should get in here.”

Dean laughed awkwardly. “I’m good, thanks.”

“No, really,” Cas stated. “This thing’s got room for both of us.” 

“I–I’m, I’m good, Cas. Really,” Dean said.

“What? You paid $200 for a tub you’re not even going to use?” Cas scoffed. “Come on! When was the last time you got in one of these?”

“A while,” Dean answered.

“If you’re shy, I can close my eyes while you get in?” Cas offered. “And there’s bubbles and foam everywhere so you can’t see anything anyways.”

“It’s not that,” Dean stated. “It’s just–”

“What?” Cas asked.

“Nothing.” Dean sighed. “Move over.”

Cas smiled widely at him for the first time since losing his grace.

While Dean got his night time clothes out and got undressed, Cas washed his hair, lathering it with the shampoo and then dunking himself a few times.

Dean got into the tub and sat across from Cas. Cas moved his legs and put them up on Dean's shoulders.

"Thanks," Dean snorted. He took a breath and lowered himself under the water. He waited for a few seconds, letting the jets on his side put pressure on a sore spot on his upper back.

"Fuck, that feels good," he said, coming back up.

"Doesn't it?" Cas mused.

Dean sighed and then started laughing.

"What?" Cas asked.

"I am sharing a jacuzzi bath tub with my best friend," Dean stated. "This is the gayest thing I have ever done and I say that as someone that regularly sleeps with men."

"How is this gay?" Cas replied. "It's a bath."

"Two men sitting naked in a body of water together?" Dean retorted. "It seems very gay."

"I don't see why. Lots of men sit together in sweat lodges and locker rooms and hot tubs elsewhere," Cas stated.

“There’s a difference when its a bathtub in a hotel room and you’re alone,” Dean said.

“I don’t see how,” Cas replied. “It’s a bath.”

“Maybe you don’t see things as warped and perverted as the rest of us do,” Dean mused. “Give it time.”

Cas pulled his legs off Dean's shoulders and started moving closer to Dean in the water. “Maybe you’re just seeing things as you want to.”

Dean looked away and sighed. “Cas–”

“I may not have a good grip of standard societal conventions and the ins and out of humanity’s twisted interpretation of humor, but I’m not an idiot, Dean,” Cas stated, stopping and floating in front of him. “You talk about romantic feelings and love and then tell me that you’re attracted to men, and every time you describe some form of attraction, it sounds like you’re describing yourself.”

Dean looked back at him and exhaled shakily.

“You… have a crush on me,” Cas stated. “And I think I have one on you.”

Cas leaned in and put his face close to Dean’s. A corner of Dean’s mouth turned up in a smile as he went forward and met Cas halfway. Cas slowly pulled away from him and smiled before going back and kissing the side of Dean’s neck.

Dean slowly brought his hands up to Cas's face and began dragging them downward, sinking them under the water as they ran down his chest and then reached around to hold him at the small of his back.

Cas went back to kissing Dean on the lips as he placed one hand on Dean's stomach and moved it down between Dean's legs. He grabbed onto him and Dean yelped, Cas quickly pulling away from him, making waves in the tub.

"That wasn't my dick you just grabbed," Dean hissed, grimacing and squinting his eyes shut.

"Sorry," Cas muttered.

"Here." Dean went back to a neutral expression and grabbed Cas's hand, tugging him forward and guiding his fingers to wrap around the right thing this time. "Easy on the death grip," he chuckled.

"Sorry," Cas whispered. "Again."

"It's okay," Dean replied, pulling Cas's hand up and down his length until Cas got the hang of it.

Dean could hear Cas breathing, the rhythm of his exhales slightly shaky. He leaned forward and put his face next to Cas's, rubbing their cheeks together before kissing him on the lips again.

Dean replaced his hands at the small of Cas's back where they'd been before and began pulling his hands forward. His fingertips traced over Cas's hipbones as they neared the front, dipping downward.

Cas gasped as Dean made contact, holding one hand at Cas's thigh and the other around his length. Cas placed his one hand on top of the hand Dean had on his thigh and began feeling his way upwards. Cas glided his fingers up Dean's forearm and over his bicep, then began going back down his chest.

Dean chuckled under his breath and Cas pulled away. "What?"

"Nothing," Dean replied. "You're just handsy, that's all."

"Do you want me to stop?" Cas asked.

Dean shook his head and smiled. "Not one bit."

"Good," Cas whispered, putting his hand back on Dean's chest and moving it down to his stomach.

Cas had gotten a bit sidetracked on what his other hand should have been doing, but Dean didn't mind. He kept working at Cas, stroking him beneath the water, living off of the moans he drew from Cas's mouth.

As Cas brought himself closer to climax, he realized he'd been slacking on his end and went back to moving his hand up and down Dean's cock. He wanted to hear Dean.

Even after Cas came, he kept ambitiously trying to get Dean off, kissing him and stroking him. His movements were sloppy and untrained but Dean took no issue with that.

"If I knew sex was this nice, I would have started doing it earlier," Cas said.

Dean stared at him for a moment. "Oh fuck."

"What?" Cas asked, frowning in concern.

"You never had done anything sexual before," Dean stated.

Cas shook his head.

"Shit," Dean hissed. "I just took my best friend's virginity."

"No you didn't," Cas replied.

"What?"

"Virginity isn't real," Cas said. "It's a falsified social construct invented to control and shame people."

"Yeah but Bible say—" Dean began.

"The Bible doesn't say anything about it," Cas stated.

Dean sighed and took Cas's hands off him. "This was a mistake."

"What? No!" Cas protested. "How?"

"You're my best friend," Dean said. "You don't sleep with your best friend. Shit gets awkward."

"It's not awkward to me," Cas replied. "Besides, it doesn't have to be a one time thing."

"Yes, it does," Dean argued. "I can't. Not with you."

"Is there something wrong with me?" Cas asked.

"No, but you're family to me. And I'm not risking that," Dean explained.

"What?" Cas scoffed. "Benny saved your life and you still were...something with him."

"How do you know about that?" Dean asked. "I didn't tell anyone."

"I know you better than you know yourself, Dean," Cas answered. "You didn't have to tell me."

"It was still different, okay?" Dean grumbled, standing from the tub.

"Why?" Cas crossed his arms and sat back against the edge of the tub. "Because Benny was never around Sam? Benny didn't run the risk of Sam knowing you liked men?"

Dean closed his eyes and looked the other direction.

"That's it, isn't it?" Cas asked.

"He can't know," Dean stated, grabbing a towel and walking out of the room. "Enjoy your bath. I'm going out."

"Where?" Cas replied.

"Haven't decided yet," Dean answered.

* * *

Dean and Cas spent the car ride home in an agonizing silence, Cas upset and Dean embarrassed.

"Listen," Dean finally said as they began down the winding path to the bunker. "You can't tell Sam anything, okay?"

"I wasn't planning on it," Cas stated. "Despite the fact that Sam wouldn't judge you in any capacity."

"You don't know that," Dean replied.

"Yes, I do," Cas argued as the car slowed to a stop. "And I'm gonna prove it."

"Cas, what are you going to do?" Dean groaned, Cas opening the car door. "Cas!"

Cas took his duffel bag out of the backseat and pulled it over his shoulder. "You'll see,"

"Cas I swear to God if you—"

"You swear on my father you'll do _what_ to me?" Cas interrupted.

"Don't tell him," Dean stated, opening the door.

"I won't," Cas replied, stepping inside. "We're back!"

"Hey guys!" Sam called.

Dean and Cas entered the main area and then both went to put their things in their room.

Cas quickly dropped his bag off and went out to greet Sam who was watching TV.

"Hey." Sam smiled at him as he stood and went over to him. "How was it?"

"It was okay," Cas said, giving a shrug. "Did you have a good time getting away from here at least?"

"The guy watched the creation of Earth," Dean retorted. "I'm sure bumfuck nowhere wasn't any wonderful sight."

"That about sums it up," Cas stated.

Sam gave a short laugh.

"And uh hey, whose are these?" Dean asked, holding up a pair of blue and white striped panties.

"Where'd you find those?" Cas replied.

"My room," Dean answered.

"Are they yours?" Cas continued.

Dean glared at him. "They're not my size."

"We were uh—" Sam rubbed the back of his neck. "We were looking for those."

"What?" Dean scoffed. "Are these Eileen's?"

"Yeah," Sam whispered.

"So why are they in my room?" Dean asked. "And is that related to why my bed is a mess?"

"Wait your-oh shit," Sam hissed.

"Oh my God!" Dean groaned. "Don't tell me you guys did it on my bed!"

"It was an accident!" Sam protest. "I didn't realize that was your room."

Dean made a gagging noise and groaned. "You're changing all my sheets before I get in that bed."

"Well it looks like I wasn't the only one who ' _got lucky_ ' this week." Cas muttered

"Wait," Sam looked back over and Cas and laughed. "You got laid?"

Cas nodded.

Sam made a low whistle. "Who was the lucky lady?"

"It wasn't a lady," Cas said.

"Oh." Sam paused. "So who was the lucky gentleman then?"

"I didn't get his name," Cas stated.

"Who would've thought you'd be such a player?" Sam mused.

“Probably the same people who thought I'd be–what was the word– _pansexual_ ,” Cas replied.

“Pansexual?” Sam raised his eyebrows at him. “That’s a word you don’t hear every day.”

“Dean taught me all the words,” Cas said.

“Well, not all,” Dean chided. “Just some.”

“Well that was nice of him,” Sam stated.

“It was.” Cas looked over at Dean and smiled.

* * *

Dean woke up to commotion coming from the room down the hall.

“Dean! Sam! Make it stop!” Cas yelled.

Dean jumped awake out of bed and fumbled for the lights. He pulled the gun from his pillow and got it ready, running down the hall. Sam was running with him as well, gun also in hand. Sam threw open the door to Cas’s bedroom and Dean hit the lights, but no one was there. Cas was just whining and groaning in the bed, eyes squeezed shut.

Dean sighed and lowered his gun. Sam followed him over to the bed where Dean set his gun down and began shaking him awake. “Cas, hey Cas.”

Cas quieted as he was pulled out of his sleep and he blinked his eyes awake. “Dean?”

“Are you okay?” Sam asked.

Cas nodded. “I’m fine.”

“Was it another nightmare?” Dean looked down at him, brow furrowed in concern.

“Nightmare?” Sam glanced over at his brother.

“I’ve been having… less than pleasant dreams since I started sleeping,” Cas stated. “Sorry if I woke you.”

“It’s alright,” Sam said.

“You can head back to bed,” Dean said to Sam. “I got it from here.”

Sam nodded in acknowledgement. “Okay,” He bent down and rubbed Cas’s hair. “Sleep well, man. If you can.”

“Thanks,” Cas replied, giving him a smile.

Once Sam left the room, Dean went back to Cas and looked him in the eye. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes,” Cas insisted with a firm nod. “I’m fine. I think the human part of my subconscious is having problems adjusting and doesn’t know how to process some of the things I’ve gone through.”

“You have seen some shit,” Dean sighed.

“I have,” Cas said.

“Do you want me to stay with you?” Dean asked. “Would that help with the nightmares, do you think?”

“I’d like that,” Cas answered.

“Okay.” Dean gave Cas a defeated smile and put his leg on the bed.

“Can we go in your room instead?” Cas asked.

“Uh, yeah sure,” Dean replied. “Anything.”

Dean took Cas’s hand and helped him out of bed and then walked him down back to his room.

Once Dean and Cas got settled into bed, Cas tucked himself into Dean’s chest. “Thank you,” he muttered.

“It’s nothing,” Dean replied, pulling Cas close to him. “You’re safe with me.”

“I know.” Cas said.

* * *

When Dean woke in the morning, Cas was gone. His side of the bed had been made and he’d tucked his pillow into Dean’s arms so that he still had something to hold onto. Dean smiled as he moved the pillow aside and got up from the bed.

As he left his room, he heard talking coming from the main area, so he followed the sound of the voices.

“So you thought that drinking all that soda was going to be the solution to your problem and not the cause?” Sam laughed.

“I didn’t know what the sensation was,” Cas protested. “But can you blame me anyways? Blue Raspberry flavoring is my favorite, apparently.”

“Oh, God,” Dean groaned. “You guys are talking about what my poor car had to go through.”

Sam chuckled. “Well apparently now that it’s in the past, Cas finds it quite humorous.”

“Yeah tell that to my traumatized car,” Dean retorted, standing behind Cas and putting his hands on his shoulders. He bent down and put his face next to his and smiled at him. “You sleep okay?”

Cas nodded. “Yeah. I slept fine. Thanks for letting me share your bed.”

Dean gave him a slight smirk and stood back up, looking over at Sam. “So what’s for breakfast.”

“Oh my God!” Sam exclaimed. “It was you!”

“I’m for breakfast?” Dean asked. “What are you going on about?”

“Cas,” Sam stated. “You two fucked, didn’t you?”

Dean pulled his hands off of Cas and glared at him. “What the hell did you tell him?”

“Nothing, I swear!” Cas replied.

“He didn’t tell me anything,” Sam said. “But you just confirmed it.”

Dean groaned loudly. “I confirmed nothing. I’m just wondering where the hell you got the impression that I would have sex with him?”

“Why do you have such a problem with it?” Sam asked.

“Because I don’t swing that way,” Dean replied.

Sam sighed and closed his eyes. “Dean, I know you’re bisexual.”

Dean’s jaw dropped and he gawked at him. He pursed his lips to say something but couldn’t make the words come out.

“When we were kids, you were out ‘studying’ after school with a friend, but when you came home, he’d Monica Lewinsky’d on your jacket and I don’t think you realized,” Sam explained.

“What’s a Monica Lewinsky?” Cas asked.

Sam laughed quietly. “Another scandal for another day.”

Dean kept staring at Sam, unsure of what to say.

“Dean, I don’t care that you like guys. I don’t care that Cas likes guys,” Sam said. “I don’t care if the both of you like each other, just don’t feel like you have to hide it from me, okay?”

“Not today,” Dean muttered, closing his mouth and walking backwards out of the room.

“Dean–”Cas called after him.

“Let him go,” Sam said. “Let him sit and stir and think about it.”

“Well, now that it’s not a secret anymore…” Cas leaned in close to Sam and whispered, “I have a crush on Dean. I think.”

Sam smiled widely at him and laughed. “I know.”

“I think Dean’s going to be upset,” Cas replied.

“Yeah, but he’ll get over it,” Sam stated. “It’s about time he stopped hiding, anyway.”

Cas nodded in agreement. “So what’s that Monica thing?”

“Dean came home with uh–how should I put this–ejaculate on his jacket that I was fairly certain wasn’t his,” Sam explained.

“Oh,” Cas hummed. “That’s gross.”

Sam nodded. “Men are gross. That’s why I date women.”

“I hope he’s okay,” Cas muttered, looking towards the hallway. “I should go check on him.”

“No,” Sam said sternly. “He’ll come when he’s ready.”

* * *

Sam and Cas waited all day for Dean to do something, anything. He’d leave his room to use the bathroom or get food, but that was the extent of it. Around night time, Dean finally left his room for good. He slowly walked up to Sam and Cas watching TV and stopped in front of them.

“Hey,” Sam said, looking up at him.

“Dean,” Cas breathed.

Dean looked at him and Cas stood up. Dean kept looking at him for moment, just running his eyes all over Cas’s upper half like he was a foreign object Dean had never seen before.

“Dean,” Cas repeated, bringing Dean’s attention back up to his face.

“Hi, Cas,” Dean whispered before quickly grabbing Cas’s face with both hands and pressing his lips up against Cas’s.

Cas smiled into the kiss and when Dean pulled away, he was grinning ear to ear.

Dean took Cas by the hands and sat down on the couch next to Sam, pulling Cas on his lap. “So what are we watching?”

Before Sam could answer, a siren started playing throughout the bunker and lights started flashing.

“The angels,” Cas whispered, jumping up off of Dean.

“Get your shoes,” Dean said. “We’re going to get that grace.”

 

 

 


End file.
